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How to Get the Most from Your Kids

stressed mom


Have you ever thought why is everyday a battle with my children or why must I yell every day? Having children is one of the hardest jobs we will ever have. Plus this is one job that you cannot quit, so why not try to make it a little easier.

Whether your child is 2 or 16, all children want to be in control. They want to feel as they are able to make their own decisions. We can enable ways so that we are ultimately making the decision, but our children feel as if they made their own decision. Our homes do not have to be a dictatorship, we can allow our children to make decisions within reason. This can be done by letting them have choices to make the decision.


First I will explain what I mean by letting them make choices. Here is an example, when my daughter was 2 (one of the harder ages, terrible two’s): I was at Barnes & Nobles with my 2 children. I let each of them pick out a book then we went to the DVD section. My daughter picked up a movie that she wanted, plus she wanted to keep her book. Well I already said 1 item and had to stick to that. On the other hand, I did not want a tantrum in the middle of the store so I let her make her own decision. I explained that she could pick 1 item that she wanted, but could not get both. After about 10 minutes of her trying to get both and thinking about which one she wanted more, she put the movie back. This could have been a really bad scene with a tantrum, but by me being patient and taking a few extra minutes; it was a pleasant ending. The reason is because my daughter thought she was in control and made her own decision. If I would of just said no you are not getting the movie and took it from her, she would of threw a screaming tantrum. I have seen this over and over at Walmart, for an example, where a child is in full melt down mode because a parent is trying to rush through the store and just says no meanly or grabs something out of a child’s hand. This does not make a child bad or a brat because they take a tantrum, for older children, a screaming battle; this is just a way of a child not understanding or trying to express themselves, it is frustration. Most of the time, if we give choices to our children and let them feel like they are in control with their own decisions, we will skip the tantrums and screaming battles. Especially for older children, take the time to talk to them about what they want. You hear a lot of times, parents say because I said so. Imagine how that makes a child feel, if your significant other said that to you that would not make you feel good.


For older children, as long as it is not a decision that could put them in danger, let them make their own decision. If you cannot let them make the decision, take the time to explain why they cannot do something. You will get a better response from your child than just saying no. Children go through many stages, in each stage they strive for independence. By giving them choices, they feel independent while you are still in control. As your children get older and are faced with tough decisions, they will be able to make the right decision due to the lessons you taught them by giving them the opportunity to have choices at an early age.